"At the micro level, most of us are notoriously inaccurate in describing our own behavior in a conflict. We develop blind spots about our own behavior, and rigid ways of seeing the other. People repeatedly impose on others that which they later claim was imposed on them. The person who believes the world is a competitive, win/lose place often doesn’t see this view sets competitive processes in motion (Weick 1979). Self-fulfilling prochecies are enacted over and over as we provoke the very behavior we accuse the other in the conflict of perpetuating. Then we each make ourselves out to be the other’s victim (Warner and Olson 1981)."
Interpersonal Conflict by William Wilmot and Joyce Hocker.